Inspiration and origins of stories

This is going to be a long one. I am sure that I will spend longer on this than I did on covering all that I use to create.

There are inspirational artists, bands, writers, movies, school, people I have surrounded myself with other the years, and my inner psycho that I admire. Not so much of copying what they sound like, how they write, how they are portrayed. Instead it is the emotions that I receive and psychological effects of these on myself and others I study. I try to recreate instances where I and others listening feel or imagine these series of places, events and social situations. Paint a picture and story line. 

I studied psychology from time to time more as a refresh because I forget bits and pieces. I at one point attended Columbia College to learn more on psychology though not to become a therapist. I wanted to widen my understanding and open new doors for my hobby. That was spending a lot of money for a hobby and I got some things out of it. I did not graduate, but I taught my Pysch 101 teacher some new things. He has a doctorate in psychology and a well known guy in psychological studies as the subject rather than the scientist. His name is Brian Bilderback. He knew my father as he taught him too at one point. Brian new that I "made music" but not in the way that others do. My final paper and presentation was on the effects of sound on humans and animals. For presentation I did an experiment on the group with my version of an orchestral piece vs the original and gave feedback on what I learned. To point out I didn't understand a whole ton of the class. At times when I did I thought it was really cool, but it was like learning a new language. I received a good grade and comment for my work by Brian and my class. 

After class he stopped me and we talked about how it would be cool to design a computer  program that mirrored what I covered in my presentation. Setting the synthesizer to frequency that is known to change the minds, inspire, and manipulate the moods of the listeners in order to tell a story. I thought a long while about the study the would go into it and I was up for it. I worked to learn programming as well to make something basic, but that didn't work out and I saw no point because of the wide range of applications already out that allow you to key in specifics. It is a long journey to work all of this into my projects, but I knew it was doable. I had nothing but time.

I have honestly stopped my scientific study and online and in books and instead took notes on what sounds I create that modify these emotions.

I really love visual art. Paintings of abstract worlds and cityscapes to 3D models of similar places. I like both dark and light art. I grew up drawing abstract and only excelled at my own styles. One of my teachers in middle school referred to them as mazes that which ever way it was turned your eyes fixed and you saw something different than the last. A lot of others called it tribal are and though I enjoyed that, too, it's not what I was going for. These were extremely complex, only with special ink on special paper, and none of the lines touched or intersected. They do look like mazes. I won a few rewards in the school's art shows. Once making it to Best In The District for one that I did on poster card stock that took almost the entire school year of the previous year. I wish that I could draw the things that I imagine and dream and have failed to learn time and time again. I am inspired by my own work and attempt to match what I see with other artists' work for entertainment since I can not achieve it in this medium. 
Oil paintings I enjoy because you can see the emotions in the brushstrokes and colors. I enjoy minimalist art, too. My graphics are kept minimal. It would be really cool for details and design, but I believe that it is either good music and minimal art or great art, but your music is terrible. Based on experiences and others as examples. I don't want to dis anyone though in this.
I like all sorts of art, especially that is dark. Paintings of things living in the walls and voices causing people to loose their minds. Morbid things, disgusting, death, remains of civilizations; but I like it kept fictional and in the drawings or paintings. I don't like seeing it in real life or hearing about it happening to real people. I may be a goth, but I don't want to see it.


A long time ago I was asked by an old friend and shopkeeper Mike who loved all of the electronic music and DJ stuff. He sold a miscellaneous of things though mainly vintage games and game consoles. Huge store, but has been out of business for a few years now. It was Mike's Game Shack in Buckhorn, Missouri. He wanted to know if there are any DJs out there or electronic artists that existed that inspires me to make what I make. I had to let him down with a "No". I listen to a lot of this kind of music, but never felt an impact to make what they do or to sound like them. Their music to me looked simple from the outside looking in. I was more interested in acoustics with a little bit or electronic. I will list the bands that I enjoy.

Mindless Self Indulgence
My Chemical Romance
Blink 182
Fallout Boy
The Faint
Angels and Airwaves
Blaqk Audio
The Killers
Imagine Dragons
The Veils

Others likes are just songs by artists that I do not enjoy their other music, but a few.
My SoundCloud "Like" list is full of these. Those I listen to online like on SC I can not say that they have inspired me in much of any way.

For a short one on writers, I don't read a whole lot of fiction anymore. I can say that The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly was a great one. I recently finished Jurassic Park, but haven't noticed anything come of it in my work.


The list of movies and TV shows that I enjoy is endless. Over the past few months I have been watching Vikings and connecting with my heritage made up of legends. I learned that I have viking blood in me and my name Rane is Scandinavian. Mom named me before she knew any of this. This was just recent. Anyways! Vikings. hahaha. When I watch movies and shows it is really hard for me to not think about the making of them and all the sound design and recording that went into the work and just extract the story out of all of it. I have many favorites and maybe I will share in another post.

Bad influences:

I have known a lot of terrible people in the 24 years I have spent hanging out on this planet.
A lot of broken and addicted folk. Mentally unstable when I thought I was nuts. I don't want to name anyone because they might ask for royalties. I just took from their examples and life mistakes. I have more bad and painful memories with others. Many girlfriends who I dumped to save myself. Kids with drug addictions, drinking problems, violence, child abuse, bullies, Friends that traded our friendship for pot. The story for that one is they they wanted me to record them rapping, which I don't care for, but he would not follow what I asked and take the pot out of the apartment or hide it in a place that I can not tell it is there. I am very anti-flush-your-mind-down-the-toilet. I don't want anyone to turn into having a mind like me. I will explain later. Anyways. It was a simple task and easy to hide from me, but he chose to ditch our friendship over grass. I am a very serious person when it comes to a lot of things. I have many high standards that I try to keep those that I like at. It is a better way of living for everyone. 

There was a girl in another state who brainwashed me into spending $500 on a plane ticket to go see her. Long distance relationship. I could hack it no problem. The only catch was that she wanted to stay the whore that she was. Four months she had to wait and 20 days before I left she goes against me and used my mental problems against me, tells everyone her theories that no one in town is safe and said that I will be jumped once I landed. I don't like exposing myself like this directly. I was diagnosed when I was 20 with the crazy and since then I have been medicated on some great quality stuff, and very expensive stuff. It in a way changes my personality to be more accepted and I like the sound of that. So all plans failed because I told her a long time ago what I have and that it is completely maintained and I am 100% safe to be around. I made sure a long time ago. I still made plans though to go because there was a girl who was this other girl's so called "friend". I was itching for some ass and didn't want to burn $500. This girl was screwed up in the head. Daddy issues, but she too inspired me to put more darker elements into my work. I played along with her games and took notes and then ultimately backed down and burned the 500.

$500 is a lot for me. That could have bought me another synthesizer!

Then there were the mind games through out school and I just soaked it up and took notes.

Of all the terrible things I have been though, much more than listed, I think that I and my design have turned out great! It is a ton of dark material and I learned to enjoy the bad news and terrible things. It is part of the crazy. Can't shake it, but I do not wish these things on the people of the world. My fictional stories are written around and just adaptations to what I have seen, heard, and experienced. I know that darkness is not the norm and does not sell so much, but I enjoy it. I enjoy making it, but not causing or being a part of it. It comes very easy to me and I accept my darkness. I make some light things from time to time, but mostly it is the socially unaccepted. I don't promote violence or incest with this. I could be one without morals and medicated, but I am these things and I am proud of who I am. I surround myself with a few people, specially selected and good people. It is like being on a team in the pursuit of happiness. I hope that my words are never twisted around. I do not promote the things I put in my audio.

I hope you have a great day and I will possibly post another very soon. Been on a role lately.


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