Happy Halloween!

Not to be a downer, but it feels as if every Halloween I encounter the vibe is depressing. Like I don't have a good time, but that's with every holiday. I think it is the image of the holiday. Spooky and creepy. Day of the disturbed. This day is actually much brighter than it used to be. A long time ago it was a time of pranks, violence and vandalism. Like The Purge of the 20th century. Many people lost stores and homes to the pranksters all over the nation and some worst than others. Eventually one company worked to reshape it into a day of fun. Then other brands got in on it and long story short we have what it is today. Titled Trick or Treat meaning you can either trick and prank or given treats for not burning houses and businesses down.

In 2006 when I was in 7th grade I met a bizarre Christian student. Don't remember his name or why he was in special education with me. I just remember his obsession with Christ and Halloween being Satan's birthday. I grew up Mormon and learning of other religions for me what really weird. I knew nothing else than what I was brainwashed to believe. I thought he was funny. Always talked about 666. If I were him and woke up I would think that my life is Halloween. That's pretty mean, but it is what's on my mind. Back then I thought that people were either nonbelievers of anything or Mormon. I wasn't taught that there were other religions out there. It was a pretty close minded world to me. This kid inspired me to investigate and live outside of this social blindness.

I think because of him I went more towards the Gothic lifestyle. Wore all black and as much out there that I could get away with to stay within the school's dress code. I couldn't be full on what I saw in pictures. I wanted to at least keep a few people talking to me. I went rebel. In Germany I would have the same dark ideas, but would not express them or show them. Each Halloween I feel that I can open up and dress full on and get away with it. I own these awesome pants that resemble a straight jacket. Never thought of the name having any meaning to my stereotype until later in life. I wasn't out to restraining myself, but more along the lines of standing out in a dark way. I do wish I got the attention I aimed for, but then I do not for that time period. Gotta fit in somewhat in order to survive. These days I wish I wish I wish I was noticed and that my efforts could actually get me somewhere in life.

Remembering the 666 kid does not make me laugh a whole lot anymore. I understand where he was coming from as I too at the time was brainwashed. We were kids and kids are gullible.

A long time ago when I lived in Dixon my brother Sky bought a stainless steel coffin from a pawn shop of all places. It was gutted and had handles and everything on the outside. My family decorated with it for just about every Halloween. There were a few years where my mom would keep a doughnut buffet in it with the hood propped up. It was for the adults. They would have to reach inside the coffin for their threat. Pretty morbid. My mom used to be big on Halloween. Last year she gave all of her decorations and the coffin back to Sky.

This Halloween I really have nothing planned. It's just another day.


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